Happy Groundhog Day

Wow, I can’t believe it. Today is Groundhog Day. We’re still eating turkey leftovers from Christmas and picking up pine needles in the carpet. How can it already be Groundhog Day?

I just visited the “Official Site of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club” and learned that the rodent in Pennsylvania (no, I don’t mean Ben Roethlisberger) saw his shadow, thus a harbinger of six additional weeks of cold, snow, ice and other assorted elements associated with the season preceding Spring. Don’t put those shovels away yet, boys and girls.

Now, as holidays go, I think Groundhog Day tends to be underappreciated. After all, how much do we have to look forward to in the thick of winter? I mean, especially this year, with football season now behind us (I don’t count the Pro Bowl as real football, so don’t even go there with me), and with Easter still over two months away, what are we going to do with ourselves? Most workers won’t even get another paid Holiday until Memorial Day, which is 16 weeks away!

So I suggest we start treating Groundhog Day with a little more respect. First of all, any Holiday of any significance is marked prominently with lots of sales. I mean, in a few weeks, we’ll be told that the best way to celebrate the birth of Presidents Washington and Lincoln will be to buy a sofa, television or box springs & mattress. It’s what George and Abe would have wanted us to do.

So why not start with a Groundhog Day Sale? We could be encouraged to buy warm, furry coats. Or to “burrow in for winter” by purchasing space heaters and blankets.

Of course, the really great Holidays revolve around food. If Groundhog Day is going to take its rightful place among the major holidays, then we have to have copious amounts of food specifically associated with this momentous occasion. Groundhogs, also known as woodchucks and pasture pigs (I am not making this up) are herbivores, so let’s come up with special dishes to celebrate the day made with vegetables and berries. Or, for those meat lovers out there, we could enjoy “Waco Groundhog in Sour Cream”, “Groundhog Stew” or “Groundhog Meatloaf” (visit http://www.outdoor-michigan.com/Recipes/woodchuck_recipes.htm for these and other fine groundhog recipes).

We could come up with songs to sing around the piano honoring the Groundhog and its great contributions to civilization. We will need decorations especially suited for the day. And no Holiday worth its salt would be complete without a line of Hallmark Cards (with online versions available for those of us too cheap to buy stamps).

Perhaps you doubted my wisdom (or sanity) when you started reading this, but by now I hope I’ve got you thinking. Feel free to contribute your own ideas as to how this momentous holiday can be celebrated. Don’t hold anything back. After all, do you think that those Pilgrims and Indians originally anticipated a two day celebration of giving thanks that would be marked by food, football and sale prices so low they may never be repeated? That holiday revolves around a bird that can’t fly, so don’t sell the beloved groundhog short.